The closest I've come to giving birth is clogging up the commode without using toilet paper.  I did better than that two nights ago after i stayed up late writing a good friend an e-mail.  It was late at night and i was sitting on the commode to take a leak.  (If you have cerebral palsy, you always sit down to take a leak unless you have your shoes on.)  I started to get up, lost  my balance, sat back down, and obliviated the water tank.  Water every where.  And of course the shut-off valve wouldn't work.  Talk about a mess...There i was, ankle deep in water and shattered porcelain.  I guess i learned my lesson.  Yep, time to start wearing my shoes to bed.  I wish I could think of a spiritual application to  put to this story.  All i have are a few jokes that my conscience is telling me i shouldn't write down.  If you want to know what it's like to have cerebral palsy, think of me the next time you put your shoes on.